Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips's Blog (43)

Holiday Shopping and the Question – Am I a Shopaholic?

Recently someone asked me this question and while the topic may not seem “politically correct” as we usher into the holiday shopping season, it is an important one to consider.  Black Friday, Cyber Monday,and Small Business Saturday etc., intensify and legitimize the extremes of shopping for most shoppers. For some, however, the media hype and urgent invitation to begin Holiday Shopping is a situational trigger for Addictive Shopping.

How do you know if you are a…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on November 26, 2014 at 12:45am — No Comments

The Unexpected Benefits of Video Games for All Ages

Well beyond the financial benefits accrued by video games producers, manufactures and event planners which have outstripped the music industry and are closing in behind the movie industry, video games and applications of game thinking offer unexpected benefits for people of every age.

Video Games Go Mainstream

Long considered the domain of…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on September 22, 2014 at 7:42pm — No Comments

Collateral Damage: What Children Say About Domestic Violence

 Domestic Violence persists as a complicated and serious problem across geography, age, income, race, gender, religion and ethnicities. Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults. Eighty-five percent of…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on June 13, 2014 at 12:38am — No Comments

Collateral Damage: What Children Say About Domestic Violence

 Domestic Violence persists as a complicated and serious problem across geography, age, income, race, gender, religion and ethnicities. Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults. Eighty-five percent of…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on June 13, 2014 at 12:37am — No Comments

Reduce the Fear of Failure: Change Your Perspective

There are lots of things that we cannot control in life. One thing that we can change is our perspective. Like the lens on a camera, how we see things belongs to us and can be adjusted to see things differently, more clearly, and from a different angle. Given that our perspective bears on our feelings, our thoughts and our behavior—the ability to change perspective can be a resource for changing aspects of our life.

In their book…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on May 3, 2014 at 10:13pm — No Comments

Avoid Problems with Friendships-Use Mentalization

There is considerable evidence that friendships enhance our physical and emotional well-being. A recent study by John Cacioppo at the University of Chicago even suggests that the feeling of extreme loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 14…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on April 8, 2014 at 1:14am — 2 Comments

A Simple Way to Enhance Intimacy: Watch TV “Together”

Research tells us that what is novel or out of the ordinary has been found to change neurochemistry and actually stimulate hormones related to excitement and desire. If you are one of many couples who like different TV shows that you watch in different rooms, consider the novelty of finding, saving and watching a show together. It may well enhance intimacy!…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on February 27, 2014 at 10:00pm — 5 Comments

Turn Down Perfectionism to Turn Up Success

One of the most productive things you can do in any aspect of your life is to turn down perfectionism!

Perfectionism is the pervasive need to achieve an unrealistic standard of perfection-There is no other choice.

  • Perfectionism is often driven by historical expectations of perfection, excessive criticism and lack of secure and loving attachment.
  • Perfection becomes the necessary criteria for love and self-worth.
  • Given we live in a culture that pushes…
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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on January 21, 2014 at 4:31pm — No Comments

Holiday Shopping or Compulsive Shopping: A Painful Difference

 The Holidays bring with them the joy of giving and the need to shop for the right gift for the right person. For the some 18 million compulsive shoppers, however, the holiday is but one more trigger to an addiction that ultimately brings far more pain than joy.

Who are the Compulsive Shoppers?

According to April Lane Benson author of To Buy or Not to Buy, compulsive shoppers can be…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on December 23, 2013 at 1:52pm — No Comments

The Value of Recognizing Your Own Resiliency: Strategies

I was recently in a shop with a friend when a young man in his late twenties came in to get his hair cut. Friendly and likeable he was amusing the hairdresser with some stories of his birthday. It was not until he struggled to get the money out of his wallet, that I realized his hand was quite deformed. I was so struck by this positive young man that I said to my friend, “ I love his resilience.” I was very surprised when my friend replied, “ I envy it.”  

Given that she had managed a…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on December 5, 2013 at 12:40am — No Comments

An Interesting Way of Increasing Female Sexual Desire

A recent cover of the New York Times Book Review invites, “ Let’s Read about Sex.”

For the 30-40 million women who seek help for lowered sexual desire…that may be a good idea.

  • Lowered sexual desire is the number one sexual complaint of women of all ages.
  • In most cases, women remember feeling differently and…
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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on November 8, 2013 at 11:42pm — No Comments

Could My Child Be Depressed? Important Answers

While we often associate depression with the teen years, the recognition and treatment of depression in children is more easily overlooked.

  • She’s a kid—she’ll grow out of it.
  • He’s just moody–don’t make a big thing out of it.
  • It’s just a stage.

According to Dr. Deborah Serani, author of the new book,…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on October 25, 2013 at 11:00pm — No Comments

Teen Cutting and Self Injury: Why Do They Do This?

In response to my recent post on "Preventing Teen Suicide,"Marcia, one of our experts in the healthywomen community raised the question of whether the trend of " teen cutting" might also be considered a warning side for suicidal thinking.

Since this is a very important question raised by both parents and professionals—it is one worth considering here.

What is Self-Injury?

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on September 24, 2013 at 12:51am — No Comments

How Can We Prevent Teen Suicide?

It is difficult to look too closely at what baffles and terrifies us— teen suicide is one of those realities.

  • Suicide is the third leading cause of death in the U.S. for young people between the ages or 10 and 24 years.
  • The National Institute of Mental Health believes that there may be…
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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on September 14, 2013 at 10:35am — 3 Comments

Understanding the Challenges of Cybersex Addiction

Recently, politics has brought cybersex addiction to the forefront of our media sources and our minds. Given political agendas, however, the focus has primarily been one of voiced outrage, questions of leadership competency and judgment about spousal reactions.

Less focus has been directed at the consideration of cybersex as addiction, and the challenges to relationships and recovery.

Given the explosion of Internet use in the last decade, experts are still building on research…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on August 31, 2013 at 12:28am — No Comments

Cell Phones: An Unexpected Risk for Young Children

Most parents are concerned about the dangers of teens sleeping with cell phones. Specifically the “ on call status” which focus groups have found in most cases to be obligation, anxious need, and even addiction.

A recent article by Deborah Fallows in The Atlantic, entitled, “ Papa, Don’t Text,” invites us to consider the impact of cell phones on those too young to use them.

Fallows…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on July 22, 2013 at 12:37am — No Comments

Is Jealousy Threatening Your Relationship? Five Checkpoints

While most partners want someone to care if they run away with the neighbor, using jealousy to evoke a sign of love from a partner, or feeling jealous of your partner’s interest in something or someone other than you—takes its toll.

Often confused with envy which is the emotion you feel when you want something someone else has (car, wife, job) jealousy is the apprehension or fear of someone or something being taken away from you.

  • She is much happier speaking with her…
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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on June 3, 2013 at 11:37pm — No Comments

When Couples Stop Talking: Reasons and Remedies

Most couples know the positive sounds of silence--the mutual experience of sharing time and space together without needing words. Be it walking the dog together, cooking side by side or listening to music--it is the silence of connection and love.

Many couples also know the silence that reflects tension, conflict or disconnection. Unable to speak beyond the necessities of daily life, these couples report, “ We just don’t talk anymore!”

If we recognize “ talking together” as a…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on May 21, 2013 at 1:22am — 2 Comments

The Importance of Positive Support in Successful Marriages

Recently the American Psychological Association reported the latest findings on what makes love last in a marriage. The results of one series of studies by Shelley Gable and colleagues were particularly interesting because they were unexpected. They invite speculation and…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on May 4, 2013 at 9:31pm — No Comments

Five Ways to Wind Down Toxic Worry

Given natural disasters, school violence, unemployment, deployment, the fiscal cliff, the flu, erratic weather patterns and tax changes, there are plenty of things to worry about. Everyone worries. The question is how much?

 Worry is the negative thinking we do when we are faced with a real or anticipated threat. It is the “ thinking” component of the physical heart racing, shallow breathing and sweaty palms that make up anxiety. “ What if I lose my job?”  “ What if we are hit with…

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Added by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips on March 7, 2013 at 10:50pm — No Comments

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