Dear lovelies,

I hope this letter finds you well. I recently had a conversation with a few friends over lunch about the self-worth or self-esteem as it is commonly known. The topic had been on my mind a week before we actually had the conversation. Honesty ladies, it still is because I believe that as women and young girls, we (I know I do) are constantly faced with redefining ourselves regarding who we are as individuals, who we are with the people we love and care about, those we work with day after day, and others in our social circle. Through this evolutionary process, negative experiences and environmental toxicity can greatly increase the likelihood of one’s self-worth to plummet, hence causing one to struggle with low self-esteem. But, what really is self-esteem? Can we quantify it or should we be quantifying it at all? If so, how? What makes for a high or low self-esteem? How to attain high self-esteem? What to base it upon? How does one know at what level his/her self-esteem is and how to change it if desired? These are just a few questions we discussed.

So I asked my friends to define self worth for me and asked whether they considered themselves as having a high or low self-esteem. From the bulk of the conversation, I got away that self-worth as we agreed to define it, is the perception or the idea about oneself. As the conversation progressed, however, we began to disagree on answers to questions posed above, so I couldn’t help but do an internet search in order to get some answers.  I have to say, there is a plethora of info out there, so brace yourselves!! I recommend Chamomile tea for afterward relaxation. To get you started, I have listed links below to give you a general idea.

Here’s my take on the issue.  I believe that self-esteem is an important determinant of a person’s behaviors and proclivities.  This is just jargon to say that there are many things that influence the way we behave, self-esteem being one of them. That is, the higher a person’s self-esteem, the more positive the behavior will be and the lower the self-esteem, the more negative the behavior will be. And of course, either way, we'd have to deal with the consequences. 

Long story short, I for one, think that it’s ok to acknowledge when we’re down or have little or no self-esteem in any area of our lives because doing so helps heal and improve the mind, soul, and body. So ladies, remember this letter when you have one of those days and know that it’s ok (I make a mental not for myself!). You’re not an alien! Everyone goes through this!!!  Even the seemingly most confident person in the world!  Your circumstances and experiences (past and present) should not dictate how you value yourself. The trick is to improve you and move forward. Enough said!! I’ve rambled again! I wanna know what you lovely ladies think. Join the conversation and please share! You just don’t know who you might inspire! Till we talk again!!

Luv,

Patience

Links:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-esteem/MH00128

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/guy-winch-phd/building-self-esteem-_b...

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~thlab/pubs/03_Heatherton_Wyland_APP_ch.pdf

 

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Comment by shevonsimon on January 16, 2015 at 12:09am

Thank you Patience and thank you for the reminder to share the love! I most certainly am :0)

Comment by Patience on January 13, 2015 at 11:04pm

I happy to hear that! Good for you!  It's true that sometimes we get so caught up in pleasing others and perusing dreams to the point of letting that define who we are. Realizing that we're doing so is a true revelation as it is that, which should be the defining moment. Thanks for reading! Remember to share the love!!

Comment by shevonsimon on January 13, 2015 at 10:34pm

Thank you Patience for adding your voice to this topic. Self-Worth ... it's not long ago that I said to a friend that although confident I felt that the confidence I had was built on un shakey ground; built on a false foundation due to my lack of self worth. This really got me thinking and I realised that I was still doing a lot of things and approaching life to please others or be accepted by others. Slowly, as I notice this, let go of having to be a certain way and feel more comfortable in my own skin, my confidence is growing ... but now it feels like it is coming from inside of me. 

Comment by Patience on March 8, 2014 at 1:18am
Gabriela, I totally agree with you. I was actually discussing some of the issues that women and young girls have on our way to a social event this evening with my friends. As you know, I wanted to write a sequel to this letter but to be honest, I wasn't quite sure which angle to take. But I must say, It didn't occur to me to ask my friends to join this conversation. Now that you mentioned it, I'll ask them to. I'm sure they'd happy to join. Would you also do the same on your end so we can inspire each other? My thought Is that as women of all ages, we rarely get enough credit and encouragement In our daily life and that this is a great way to build each other up for a better life, better days now and tomorrow. Have a great Saturday as we'll! I'll speak to you soon!

Much luv,

Patience
Comment by Gabriela on March 7, 2014 at 7:47pm

Patience, I think it's a great idea to explore this topic farther.  I know it's one that just about any woman struggles with, at least at some level.  I'd like us to invite other ladies to weigh in on this subject.  I'm new here. Do you think you could send a few invites to your friends?  

 



 

Comment by Patience on March 5, 2014 at 6:06pm

Hi Gabriela,

I'm glad you liked it! You bring up very good points about self-esteem. It's a rather complex thing to define despite all the info out there. isn't it? You opened up a whole topic for discussion here! interestingly enough, I have been working on a sequel to this letter because I just felt that it needed more. I appreciate your contribution. I talk more about it on my blog http://theawsomedish.blogspot.com/. Please, visit it. I hope to discuss this further in the coming days. Please, pass this along and inspire others. If there is anything topics you'd like to see here or on my blog, please do not hesitate to let me know. I always appreciate great input.

Much luv,

Patience

Comment by Gabriela on March 5, 2014 at 4:58pm

Hi Patience

Awesome topic.  Worth expanding. It's funny that just yesterday I was looking into the same thing.  From all the opinions out there, and like you said, there is no shortage of information, I concluded for myself that this is what would make me a confident woman. It is the sum of three things. 

Confidence - Confidence simply says: "I can deal with it... somehow... well at least I’ll do my best".

Significance -  Ignore those who make you doubt your significance and value as a woman.

The significance of a woman is not the purpose of her uterus. It is not in the life partner she stands by . The significance and value of a woman is whatever she – and no one else - chooses her to be.

Purpose - Although every woman’s personal life purpose will be different, a woman’s true life purpose in general, is to create and not destroy. It’s to live your passion. It’s to find fulfillment, and to seek growth and contribution.    

Of course there is this one other contributing thing, the most important of all, which has a lot to do with our self esteem; Significance in our Relationships.  Nothing is ever going to give us more happiness and fulfillment than an intimate relationship.  But that's an entirely different subject.  A vast one in itself.  

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